This is not how we planned it.

Stop. This is the last time. This is not how we planned it.
This is not what we wrote.
I could drive 1,000 miles and it would not matter.
Would you go that far for me? But would you really?

What should have been, but didn't happen.
But what you did let happen, let me down.
There's no turning back tonight. So stop screaming, kiss me one last time.

You're so many miles away. When you could be right here
You're in a room, filled with strangers you think you know.

So fuck waiting for weekends, because everyday matters...
Every year matters. This time is up. This is the last time.

I admit that I am just a fool for you.
Tonight's your last chance to do exactly what you want to.

In this moment, now we both can know the truth. It's all over.
Scream and cry, kick as I hold you down. Take a breath and close your eyes.
And this is what makes me feel alive.

i do this whenever im afraid.
i rant and rant and rant.
and then i forget about it.
for now, it's ranting time.

the scariest thing in the world is to love someone freely.
there's always that fear of getting hurt.
is better to just not go through with it at all?
life would be pretty bland.
there would be a lack of passion.
is it worth getting hurt in the end?
perhaps.
if you know that it's just a cycle.
it's not over until you're dead.

even if i do love freely, and don't get the same in return,
it's okay because i least i'm not dead.
there will always be another chance.
as long as other humans persist on this earth.
then again, it's hard to let go of the love you invest in one person.

it's not right to be bitter, is it? it's a waste of time, isn't it?
revenge is not worth it, is it?
or does it just feel really good?
save yourself from harsh feelings.
even though they will come and haunt you even worse.

i guess it's better to be carefree, not careless.
live and love.
try your best.
if you don't succeed, life will go on.
you only have power to a certain extent.
after that, it's just fate.
let life play itself out.
we all know these general rules.

have your fun.
enjoy every single moment.
even the pain.
it's there for a reason.
you learn from each experience.
you grow from them.
you become a fuller person than you were before.

you evolve with every second that goes by.

my doubts are worthless. im in love
that is it.

i tell him i love him everyday.
truth is, i'm scared out of my mind.

so scared i have thoughts of breaking up.

then again, there hasn't been one case where i have not been dumped.
but vengence seems so cruel.

i thought i had it all in check.
but i realized that nothing is certain.

i always wonder why the bird
trys to kill itself,
when it has such immense freedom
and those desirable wings.
why does the bird
try to kill itself?

i've seen too many.